Right now, I am struggling to come to terms with the fact that we are almost done with this program. Could we possibly be almost done with our second year teaching? It has been a wild ride but I have had the best possible people in it with me. We have worked really hard, thought really hard, discussed with passion, reflected for countless hours, and loved each other well. While it is bittersweet, I am extremely thankful that the light at the end of the tunnel is close and bright. Thanks for taking the journey with me!
As is the case in most months, this one has been one of triumphs and struggles but for me this month, they have been mostly internal. I have struggled to combat negativity that is permeating my team at school and my own stress, frustration and impatience. I have been working really hard on separating the stress that I was feeling from the amount of things that I had going on in my life and my personal interactions with my students. The stress of CRCT has also been permeating the building which required my attention to separation and patience. Thankfully in the last week, I have been able to get my groove back.
There is much more to celebrate in the month of April than to lament over. The highlight of this month for me has been working alongside my students on their TICC projects and getting to work alongside my colleagues at the Sources Conference. Their projects were AMAZING! The entire project was powerful for me and my students as we worked on becoming strong self-advocates and reflected on what that meant for them personally, our classroom and the wider community, but I think that the part that was most striking for me was when they were presenting. In that hour that my students were presenting, something really clicked for me as an educator. Their joy was shining through as they presented their work to their classmates. The hardwork in their products and research was easily and readily evident. They were excited about the work that they had done. We had heard the second years last year talk about this over and over again but this was happening in MY classroom. A light bulb went off. My students were developing meaningful, lifelong skills. Their choices were extending beyond product but incorporating product, interest, and the community that they live in. I was a small factor in what they were doing besides being an occasional facilitator. I WAS PROUD!
All of this joy came together as we presented and listened at the Sources Conferences. It was such a powerful day to stand besides y'all and listen to the beautiful work that you were doing with your students. I was reminded that in the negativity of our schools, there is a wider picture of educators changes students lives throughout the Atlanta area and we play a small role in that. My negative emotions about the CRCT and the frustration that I was feeling with my students and the stress about grad school work is something that I experience but it does not define me.
There is so much work to be done. We have done so much work already. I am excited to see where it takes us as we continue on this journey. Thanks for being my wonderful, beautiful, loving, challenging support system!
I love your reflection about the TICC/Action research projects. As I have told you, you were beaming when you were sharing about your students' projects. I'm so glad that you had that light bulb moment when you realized that your kids were really doing it -- they were changing their world in their own way. It's sort of sad that we don't see our students that excited or motivated when we do other things, but I think that it is something that we need to consider when organizing other projects/tasks in the classroom. Does this have to be an isolated event? Can they get excited for other things as well? I don't want to limit our students but rather give them as many opportunities as they can to exhibit choice and independence.
ReplyDeleteIt takes a lot of strength to combat the negativity that surrounds us, and you have a lot of that. Your peace is so inspiring to me, and even if you feel stressed and impatient, you never let that completely take control of the way that you feel about your job and life. You aren't dramatic and that honestly is a strength because you are able to have perspective and never let your struggles overcome you. Not many people can say that and in that way, you are unique. We need more people like you as educators. Keep on keeping on, girlfriend!
Kels-
ReplyDeleteI can really relate to and really appreciate your post. Negativity can spread like wildfire if you aren't careful and a you find yourself stressed, overwhelmed, exhausted and much much more it makes it even easier for those negative feelings to creep in. I am sooo glad you were able to find happiness and celebrate in your students' TICC projects, they are definitely worth celebrating!! You are right when you say that you have a team of other educators around ATL that believe and want the same things you want and believe in for your students. Your students are so lucky to have you as a teacher, someone who legitimately wants them to develop meaningful, lifelong skills that mean something to them. It is hard to believe we are at the end of this journey but that just means there is another journey right around the corner!
-KM
Ms. Ferguson!
ReplyDeleteYou've really done an amazing job of staying positive. I don't think I've EVER run into you at school when you've been in a negative mood that impacted your interactions with others. Your kids' projects were beautiful. Even though I wasn't there at the conference, I know about their work and it was phenomenal.
I love how you are encouraging us to remember that while this is a crazy and overwhelming time, we must not forget just how much we have to celebrate! Sometimes I still feel on top of the world I made it through the project in the literacy class two fall's ago. Not only have we come out of this experience as better educators, but I also feel as though we have a group of colleagues dedicated to not only our own work, but each others.
love love love to you